Hello from Bali!

by Kristin Morrison on April 26, 2011

in Bali,Friendship,Gratitude,Inspiring People

Me and Wayan

Me and Wayan

As I’m writing this,  I’m waiting for Wayan to drop off some holy water.

I’ll be doing a ritual later this week and I need holy water for the ritual.

When Wayan called a few minutes ago to plan the drop off, he gave me the low down on holy water:

“You can’t put it in your bag. You can’t put it lower than your stomach. It’s holy water. You have to respect it.”

And me: “I know, Wayan. I used holy water last year. Remember?”

Wayan: “I don’t know if you forget. I just telling you. Holy water must be the respect. You must the respect the holy water.”

So while I wait for my holy water I will tell you what I’ve been up to…

What to write. Hmmm.

Well, there’s no way I can say it all so I’ll give you the short and sweet version.

For the record I’m having a great time. Even better than last year which I didn’t think was possible.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

A week ago I skinny dipped in a pool with friends while watching Russian fire dancers wave torches and spin around in the full moon. It was so surreal, like many of the magical experiences I’m having here.  While it was happening I was thinking: Am I really in Bali and are there really fire dancers in front of me?

Then there are the countless motorbike rides around Ubud which put such a smile on my face. Sometimes three of us will ride on a motorbike:

Dennis, me and Felice on the motorbike

Dennis, me and Felice on the motorbike

Delicious meals in one of the many beautiful inexpensive restaurants. Rice field walks in the morning while rice farmers and ducks work the fields. Yoga class after my walk.

But what is most yummy are the people who are here from all parts of the world. There is a consistent open-hearted quality about the expats and fellow travelers that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. We’ve developed such a rich community of people in such a short amount of time.

You would love each one of them.

There’s Michael from Scotland who is so vulnerable and willing to share his feelings no matter how challenging that might be for him. And Manuella who lives in Ubud and has a fiery, honest spirit and a gift for color. “Don’t wear light colors, they fade you out. Wear bold colors.” There’s beautiful Tesa, originally from Paris, who quotes poetry in the most sublime way. Charlie from the Bay Area who teaches Body Meditation and with whom I’ve experienced such a heartfelt connection with. Robin who has a zest for life and a knack for creating a beautiful home whenever she lands in Bali. Dennis the lively almond farmer from California who has the bluest eyes you’ve ever seen.

Then there is Marie Jose from Holland who leads the weekly family constellations that have brought us together as a group. RJ from England who had a housewarming party in his new Ubud home on Saturday night. Anthony who has hair like a lion and writes the most incredible stories you could ever hope to read. Eleanor, such a talented photographer and her endearing musician boyfriend Jamie, both from England. Felice from Oregon who gives enveloping, loving hugs. She lost her 2 daughters and ex-husband to a plane crash 4 years ago and came to Bali to heal her heart. Felice has the most joyful spirit and her presence reminds me that if she can have happiness in her heart after her three losses, anyone can.

And many more amazing people that I just could fill this page with…

Slowly people are starting to leave (back to their homes or to other spots to travel) and you know what?

It is hard for this girl.

I want everyone to stay.

I don’t want anyone to leave.

As it is, many have extended their time here to really sink into what we all realize is a rich, unique, loving community of like-minded souls. A convergence of soulful people that rarely happens in one swoop. Who would want to leave that juicyness?

But homes and work and other travel destinations are calling some of these lovely people I’ve met…

As my friends leave I have some fear that I’ll be left all alone in Bali.

It’s just a fear.

My deeper sense, when I get quiet with the thought of the inevitable leaving of these people, is that there will be more wonderful people for me to meet when these current lovely souls leave to their respective places.

I’m trusting that. And like last year’s trip (and life in general) I’m doing my best to stay in the present moment and just enjoy what is here NOW. Not look too far out into the future which is always so compelling yet so undefinable. How can I know what will happen even later today or tomorrow?

I do know that will be returning the Bay Area in mid-June or mid-July depending on what feels right.

And meanwhile I’ll keep in touch on this blog as that feels right.

Sending you love from Bali!

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Enough said.

🙂

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Well, after being in Bali for only 48 hours I already I had a JOB.

Yes, it’s true.

Robin Sparks is probably the most connected person in Ubud, Bali. She’s the Ubud Maven (at least that’s what I’m now calling her).

A day after I arrived in Ubud, Robin texted me on my Bali cell phone and wrote, “The Bali Spirit Festival needs more bloggers. You interested?”

I was.

Soon I was in a meeting with the head of the Bali Spirit Festival.

And guess what? I am now part of the media crew for the festival next week. (Thanks Robin!)

That’s not all…

Within a few days of being here in Bali I was invited to:

-attend a rotary meeting in Ubud

-take part in a family constellation group

-attend a Balinese wedding

-join a dream interpretation group

-go to two 5-rhythm dances (one tonight and one tomorrow morning)

and many other adventures.

I wrote about The Flow of Ubud last year. I’d wondered if that Flow was perhaps something that just happened last year but no, The Flow here is pretty easy to tap into if you are meant to be here. If you are not, Ubud will chew you up and spit you out. (This is a well-known fact amongst those who live here full-time.)

And if you ARE meant to be here you will be so lovingly guided to the next right person, place and experience.

At least that has been my experience.

I think I’m meant to be here.

I arrived in Bali last Tuesday and Wayan picked me up at the airport. It was really comforting to see his smiling face when I got off the plane from India.

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He’d shaved his head (‘I wanted to start out the Balinese New Year with a new head’). He didn’t say hello when he saw me. He just smiled at me and sized me up and down and said, “You look more thin than last year. Other than that you look the same. You ready to go?”

There was a comfortable silence between us as he hoisted my backpack over his shoulder and we walked to his car. We chatted and caught up while he drove me to my jungalow.

I couldn’t believe that I was in Ubud. After all these months of yearning to be back in Bali here I was: finally back.

The traffic to my place in Ubud was intense. “It’s gotten worse,” Wayan said.

Shoot.

And there is a Starbucks here now. It’s right down the street from my jungalow. Though it is the most beautiful Starbucks I’ve ever seen (at least from the outside–you won’t find me in there) but still- a Starbucks? In Ubud, Bali?

The rose-colored glasses quickly came off as we drove down the congested bus-filled main street of Ubud.

Which, you know, might not be a bad thing. Before I left I was having dinner with a friend and I told him about my longing for Bali and that I wanted to create more integration between my love for Bali and my home in the U.S. I was feeling myself quite torn last year when I returned.

It wasn’t a good feeling. And I tried not to think about Bali too much in order not to feel the split within me.

With the removal of the rose-colored glasses I can feel that integration happening.

Integration and FLOW. What a great combination in this mystical, beautiful town.

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Ayurvedic Cleanse Results

by Kristin Morrison on March 14, 2011

in Adventure,Dreams,India,Letting Go

I just left Kovalam and I’m now on a layover in Bangalore. I wanted to write one more blog post from India before I head to the other reality of Bali.

I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a time warp.

Maybe it’s India, or going on an extended trip or just my relationship to time in India, but each day I’ve experienced time going by sooooo slowly and then suddenly here it is time to leave and I’m left wondering: ‘Where did the time go?’

I finished my 26-day Ayurvedic cleanse yesterday. I’ve had that many days of being massaged with oil everywhere. And I do mean everywhere.

It’s hard for me to tell what changes I’m experiencing physically but those who saw me when I first arrived in India said I look more rested, more relaxed, and more balanced after doing the Ayurvedic treatment.

Dr. Sambhu

Dr. Sambhu

A couple of weeks ago, Dr. Sambhu had said to me: “When the male and female energy in a person is aligned correctly you can see the changes in a person’s face.”

“Can you see the changes on my face?” I asked.

“It’s beginning to happen. Your face was not symmetrical when you arrived. The left side of your face was different than your right side.  The left side of the body corresponds to the female nature, the right side is one’s male nature. You are beginning to even out. It’s not perfect yet but it’s happening. Give it time and after doing the treatment you’ll see your face even out completely. Your symmetrical face will then reflect your balanced feminine energy.”

He’s right.

I’ve noticed that in past photographs my left eye was often squinting in pictures. My right eye would be wide open, my left squinting somewhat. Also when I would look in a mirror I would see my face misaligned slightly. The left side of my face was a little lower than the right. Not hugely so but enough for me to notice.

Not so now.

The left side of my face is now completely even with my right. Both eyes are wide open in pictures.

I’m in awe that my face has changed and is now symmetrical from this treatment.

“Besides the physical changes you will notice when you come into alignment with your female nature that things, professional and personal things, will come more easily to you. Without any effort on your part. With ease. What you want will be there, right in front of you. Females are the flowers, allowing. Males are the bees, busy working and attaining. As an aligned female you can be sitting there on the beach and things will happen. Miracles, you might say. Life will flow more easily,” Dr. Sambhu said.

Just from an Ayurvedic cleanse?

But here’s the thing: things (besides the alignment of my face)  are happening.

A few days ago I checked my email and found out I was asked to speak at a national business conference in January 2012.

“We want to fly you to Las Vegas, all expenses paid and please, bring lots of your books as we are sure many of our conference attendees will want to buy your book.”

That’s just one example.

For about six years 100% of my work has been done online and on the phone.

You may think ‘how cool’ and it is cool.

I love being able to work in my pajamas, next to the fireplace or in my garden, sipping hot tea while I run my business and coach other people on how to better run their businesses.

But I could feel my soul needing more. Needing to be more visible in the world. Not hiding behind the phone when it comes to my work.

Last year I started having dreams that were an indication that it was time to step out from behind the phone and be more visible. I had a dream where I was on the phone coaching someone and an audience was patiently waiting for me to turn around and speak to them. (I was afraid to turn around so I didn’t.)

Before I left on this trip I had a dream that I was coaching a couple who had a struggling business. I was coaching them in person, in their living room. We were all so vital and alive in the dream and I was really enjoying connecting with them in person and they were getting a lot out of our session.

It was the first time I’d had a dream about coaching someone in person. For the past few years I’ve always been on the phone in my dreams about work.

So maybe it is just naturally time for me to be more visible with my work or maybe the Ayurvedic cleanse had something to do with the fact that I got asked to speak (with no effort on my part) at the conference.

After the cleanse I also am noticing that I feel more balanced mentally and physically.

Tightness in my jaw that I was experiencing before I left is now nearly gone. Nothing really dramatic or flashy when it comes to the mental and physical but simply more calm, more grounded. I’ve been told the ripples of this cleanse will reveal themselves for months to come.

It will be interesting to see what else emerges.

On another note: it was hard to leave India today even though I’m so looking forward to Bali.

Saying goodbye to the wonderful people I met and the view from my hotel room (sea, lighthouse and mosque) was tough!

One of the shopkeepers said to me as I left: “You met so many people in one month here–how many will you meet in Bali when you are there for four months?!”

🙂

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Fruit Lady, etc.

by Kristin Morrison on March 11, 2011

in India,Letting Go,Life as a Grand Adventure,Travel

When I first arrived I thought it was so wonderful that every single shopkeeper said hello to me.

I loved that they asked me my name. It was so sweet to be asked how I was doing today. It felt good to be acknowledged. As a single traveler it helped me feel connected and not lonely.

BUT after fourteen days of “Hello Kristin! How you doing today? You come look in my shop?” I began to grow weary.

Because it wasn’t just one shopkeeper.
Here’s what happens so you can get an accurate picture:

Each time I do the 15-minute walk to my Ayurvedic treatment I have to pass as least a hundred shopkeepers who call out to me. Then on the way back to my room the same hundred shopkeepers will call out to me:

“You got the Ayurveda today, Kristin? You not talking today, Kristin? Why not? You not happy today Kristin? You not feeling well, Kristin? You come look in my shop, that make you very happy Kristin!”

(I am happy, I am feeling well, I’m just too relaxed to chat with hundreds of you shopkeepers after getting my oil massage and I will not be looking in your shop, thank you very much.)

AGGHHHHHHH.

And then there is Bitty, the eleven-fingered fruit woman –she’s got two thumbs on one hand- who I bought fruit from the first few days I arrived and now she acts like she owns me.

I think she’s part of the Indian mafia.

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“You buy fruit from someone else yesterday?” She scowls at me as I walk by her fruit stand.

“No Biddy, I needed a break from fruit yesterday.”

Fruit interrogation. Lovely.

This is a new experience. Lucky me.

“You no buy fruit from other fruit lady. Only from me. You understand?” She smiles but her eyes are cold and piercing.

If she had a pistol in her sari I think she would have pulled it out to prove her point.

So a couple of days ago I began wearing a big hat and sunglasses, trying to be incognito but damn if the shopkeepers and (Old) Biddy didn’t recognized me in my disguise.

Shopkeepers:

“You so white you need the big hat, Kristin? You feeling okay today, Kristin? You very quiet today. You okay? You come look in my shop. You buy my hat. Better than your hat. Your hat too big. You little. You need the little hat. I have little hat. Come on. Just look. Looking is free, Kristin. Come on!”

And Biddy:

“You buy fruit from other fruit lady today? You no buy from the other fruit ladies. You buy from me. Okay? Only Biddy. You buy! No buying from the other fruit ladies. Biddy has the best fruit. Why you not buying today? You looking tired. Fruit help you be strong. You don’t buy from other fruit lady (or I kill you).” <– I added that last part.

Angry piercing look from Biddy and I wither and buy a banana from her just to get her off my back.

Holy crap.

Next time I’ll bring a strap-on beard. Seriously. I’ve already added that item to next year’s packing list should I come to Kovalam again.

But until then I pulled my hat down low and began putting a hand up to acknowledge when they said hello or Biddy gave me the Indian Mafia Fruit Interrogation.

Then I stopped even putting my hand up and began just walking by with no acknowledgment but that made it worse:

Shopkeepers:

“You no talk with me anymore, Kristin. You were so happy a few days ago. Now you so quiet. You sad? You no talking anymore. You okay? Come look in my shop. That make you happy, happy. Very happy. Nice silk scarf. Only two hundred rupees but for you, one fifty. Special for you today, special lady! It’s free to look in my shop! Come on in, Kristin. Get happy in my shop.”

And Biddy, Fruit Lady from Hell:

“You buy the fruit from other fruit lady? Good girl, you only buy from Biddy. You very white, fruit make you healthy. You tired, fruit give you the energy. No buying from the other fruit ladies. Bad fruit from those ladies. My fruit the best, only buy from Biddy. Come back here. Where you going?”

And what is said with the eyes but not with the mouth: Buy my fruit, American lady, or I will hunt you down in my rickshaw and kill you with this pistol I have hidden in my sari.

But again, just so you get the accurate picture and don’t think I’m a wimp for freaking out about all of this: it’s not one shopkeeper and one Biddy. Oh no. That I could handle.

It’s at least four hundred shopkeepers a day plus Biddy who, lucky me, I get to see four times a day (walking back and forth to my treatment twice a day).

Oh joy.

A few days ago I began hiding in my room. I would walk –silently- back and forth to my treatments and then hunker down in my room just to be away from all the endless questions from shopkeepers + Biddy (who is like 100 shopkeepers rolled into one eleven-fingered package).

But then I began feeling pretty lonely.

I missed connecting with Lakshmi and her family and some of the shopkeepers that I have had nice chats with.

I even stopped connecting with the hotel staff during breakfast and when I’d come back from my treatments.

I would pick up my key and walk straight up to my room.

I needed quiet. No questions.  No selling me things.

I was on overload.

I had a talk with Allen about it.

Me (said with exasperation): “I can’t take this anymore, Allen. These shopkeepers saying hello every time I walk out of my room, every ten seconds, trying to sell me something. Biddy giving me the fruit interrogation. It’s driving me crazy. I could take a rickshaw to my treatment but I want to walk to get exercise and the safe places to walk are where the shopkeepers and Biddy are. Help!”

Now Allen, like most Indians, is a talker. He can go on and on with his wise Indian parables and his great dream interpretations, etc.

But when he has something especially important to say he becomes a zen master with his words.

“They are just doing their job.”

I stared at him.

Damn. He’s right.

“In America you do your job the way you do it. In India this the way we do business. You a businesswoman, Kristin, you should understand this.”

I should. Why don’t I understand this? Why is it so challenging for me to let people be the way they are?

“And besides, they like you. You here for a month, they want to get to know you. Most tourists not here as long as you are. You can make this a problem, a big problem, or just accept it. You choose. But this is the way we do business in India. You can’t change India.”

True.

And would I really want to change India?

India is growing on me in a way I never anticipated and I like the way India is even though it can be chaotic and so very annoying sometimes.

So here is how I’m now gearing up for my twice-daily walks to my Ayurvedic treatment so I don’t implode:  I tell myself to breathe, to not take the endless question-asking and the Indian hard-sell so personally.

I have a little pep talk with myself before I walk down the street which goes something like this: “When you get back to America you are going to miss this, Kristin. You are even going to miss Old Biddy. You are going to miss being seen. Because the Indians do see you.  They look right into your soul. They see the essence of you even if they also want your business and your money.”

Indians are honest and direct. They are good people. They like to talk and ask questions. They are interested in who I am. And they want to sell me things. I need to not take it so personally and to not let it affect me so much and just let them be.

End of story.

And as I’m making peace with who the Indians are I’m noticing that I’m already missing them even though I haven’t even left yet.

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I’m getting pretty comfy here in Kovalam.

The room I’m staying in is not lavish by any means, in fact it’s a bit dumpy. Paint peeling from the walls and ceiling, lights that don’t work, etc. It’s about $25 US dollars a night which is very high for India. But what it does have is such a loving staff of people and a view of the Arabian Sea to DIE FOR.

My room is perched at the very top of the 5-story hotel. There are maybe 15 rooms here. The only room higher than mine is a penthouse that is unoccupied. My room is the only occupied room on my floor.

I walk up the stairs each night feeling like a princess in my tower. It’s wonderful.

The staff bring me tea at 6 AM which I drink while gazing out the wide open door watching the sun come up. Then I walk to Antony’s yoga class. It’s the quietest part of the day, my gentle morningtime walk.

Kovalam has footpath canals. Think Venice but minus the water. There’s the seaside and then behind the shops are these footpaths with shops in between the path. It’s very charming and rat-maze-like. I used to get lost but now I know my way around pretty well.

I’m no longer the only one in Antony’s class. It seems he has quite a following: people who come year after year to take his classes and experience his life-changing healing massage.

I feel a bit like Rocky training for the big fight as he encourages us to “Come on, do your maximum!” He’ll swat my leg to get me to go deeper into the pose. I’ll smile and he’ll say, “Why you smiling? Do your best!”

Then during savasana he’ll switch from tough drill sergeant to loving father as he cradles one of our lucky heads in his lap.

Last week I went on a 2-hour walk with Antony in the evening. My body was craving a long, long hike.

I’ve been doing these walks from my hotel to the Ayurvedic Center but it’s just not enough. And yet it’s been too hot to do any exercise other than morning yoga and it’s not safe for me to be walking around alone at night (yes, even in Kovalam).

Tonight we’ll go on another one of his rigorous walks.

I had a few of you email me with the idea to stay and not go to Bali. But here’s the thing: it’s hot here and getting hotter by the day. It’s sweltering. And even though I do love it here this heat is beginning to get to me.

It makes me a bit cranky.

Last week I took Lakshmi and her family out to dinner:

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I invited Allen to join us. We had the waiter take this picture and Lakshmi’s dad Ashok smiled and said, “We all dark. You very white.”

At one point, Lakshmi pointed to a picture on the wall. “Bob Marley! You take picture of me with him?”

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During dinner Allen read the palms of Lakshmi and her brother. (Palm reading is very big in India.)

“She will do very well in business. Big business. Very smart this one. Very lucky too,” he said in English.

When he got to her brother’s palm, his face cringed. “This one not so lucky. He has a long life line though.”

Then Allen asked Ashok whether Lakshmi was in school.

“No money. School expensive.”

“She should go to school!” Allen said angrily.

I was surprised to see Allen get so upset. I’ve witnessed such a peace-loving man these past couple of weeks.

Ashok started to cry. “I’m a bad father. I want my daughter to go to school but no money.”

It was so sad.

It didn’t soften Allen though.

“She’s extra-ordinary. You can see it in her eyes. She’s smart. So smart. She should be in school. It’s such a waste.”

“Lakshmi,” I said. “If you could be anything what would you be?”

“Maybe work in a beauty store, maybe do the henna, maybe become a doctor.”

“A doctor!!” Ashok said. “Too expensive. Much school. Too much school.” Again, his eyes got teary.

Allen and I walked back to the hotel that night trying to figure out what to do for this family and especially for Lakshmi.

Have I mentioned that they live in one room that they eat, sleep and cook in? One room! For 4 people.

They will be moving back to Mumbai in one and half months for Kovalam’s monsoon season and then come back to Kovalam in July.

I found a possible tutor for Lakshmi for the rest of the time that she’s in Kovalam but then I realized it’s just for 1.5 months. What she needs is a consistent, sustained education. I don’t even know if it is worth it to have a tutor for only a little while for her.

I’m also noticing I feel some fear about giving too much. I can see the way they look at me, perceiving me as the rich American. (And of course I am compared to what they make per day in their country.)

I can’t be Lakshmi’s savior.

Or can I?

I’m in a quandry about how much to give, what to do to help out this family.

I’m also concerned that what I have to give wouldn’t be enough and they’d want and need more. Or that it wouldn’t be used for schooling for Lakshmi.

Their shop contains very tacky gifts, otherwise I’d buy items from their store in an effort to support them.

I’ll talk about it with Antony during our walk tonight.

Perhaps he’ll have some answers…




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Body/Mind/Soul Healing

by Kristin Morrison on February 26, 2011

in Contentment,Dreams,Gratitude,India

Where to begin?!

I guess the reason why I came here to Kovalam would be a good place to start: the Ayurvedic cleanse.

After a few days of getting lathered up in oil and more oil and more oil and yes, more oil, I began to wonder what the heck I was doing.

I didn’t come with any real physical ailments. Not like Manfred from Sweden who came with MS and who in five days I personally witnessed going from hobbling around to walking like an average person after doing the Ayurvedic cleanse:

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There are over 500 ‘songs’ that a person can have in their pulse and a good Ayurvedic doctor can recognize that song. The song gives a clear message about where the body is misaligned and from there herbal oils and medicines are rubbed into the body.

When the doctor took my pulse he said that my feminine energy was out of alignment. “I can tell from your face and your pulse that you are in the managerial role at work and you have a hard time letting that go in your personal time. When the female body contains more masculine energy than feminine the body is in a toxic state. Same with a man. When the masculine is overpowered by feminine energy his body is in a weak and poisoned state. This treatment will align your female energy.  Many in the Western world are misaligned in their gender energy.”
Like I said, I didn’t feel any shift for the first few days and I wondered if I was wasting my money and time and then WHAM! yesterday morning (Day Ten), I wake up and my skin is luminous. My mind is so very calm. There is so much space between my thoughts. It’s incredible.

The hotel guys comment on my skin and how clear my eyes are.

“It’s working,” they say.

And it is.

The doctor said I looked like a 100-watt bulb yesterday. Then I had a dream last night about being back in the Bay Area. I was late in missing my plane to India. I woke up and my neck and back were all out of alignment from my DREAM STRESS.

When I saw the doctor today he said, “You are 30% different than yesterday. What happened?”

I told him about my dream. He said that he wants to get me back, in a sustained way, to that clear state I experienced on Friday.

“The dreams are coming up in order to clear you out. It’s like lifting up a dirty carpet. We are cleaning you out but you have to have the dirt come to the surface in order to sweep the dirt away.”

My dreams have been wild and intense lately. I’ve been sharing them with Allen (the hotel guy that reminds me so much of an Indian version of my Balinese spiritual teacher/taxi driver Wayan).

Allen has me write my dreams down on a piece of paper and he meditates on them and gives me his interpretation in the evening when I return from my treatments.

Today he said, ‘I read your dream 15 times Kristin and I think the meaning of last night’s dream is that you don’t want to leave India.”

I think he’s right. Only Bali could entice me to leave this place.

Last week Allen invited me to meet his family for dinner:

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He invited me to his humble, love-filled home with his wife, kids and other family members:

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Then a day later I met a sweet, sweet Indian girl named Lakshmi whose parents own a shop on the beach and they invited me to dinner:

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and then I met another family who invited me for a meal the day after that.

Indian people are incredible hospitable and loving.

On the third day that I arrived I met a man named Antony who teaches yoga in the morning. He had such clear eyes and a solid presence. I felt like he’d be the right yoga teacher for me (there are a ton of yoga places to choose from here).

Since I was waking up super early due to jet lag I decided to use that time to do yoga (I’m up anyway, why not?)

Turns out in addition to being a yoga teacher he’s also an energy healer and -wow- a chiropractor.

He was trained by people in his village. I know, it sounds crazy to let someone trained in a village to work on my neck and back and I probably wouldn’t have except that I met a German woman who swears that last year he completely cured the scoliosis she had in her back for 20 years! Her doctors were amazed and dumbfounded when they examined her after last year’s trip to India and her daily work with Antony.

So every day, for only $6, I get a yoga class (often it’s a private class as I’m usually the only one in the class–it is at 7am which might be why). And I get my back and neck adjusted. “C3 is out today. And C2,” is what he said this morning. “What happened last night?”

I told him about the dream of almost missing my plane.

He adjusted me and I feel great now.

While he’s adjusting my neck and back or helping me into the yoga poses he’ll say things like, “You have such a charming face,” in his deep Indian-British accent.

So not only does my body get adjusted but my ego gets a little lift. It’s a nice way to start the day.

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Speaking of men: the men here look into me. They pierce me with their gaze. They are so unafraid to stare. It was unnerving and uncomfortable when I first arrived.

I talked to the doctor about it and he encouraged me to let the looks from Indian men in.

“The stares will help heal your female energy and create a deeper alignment within yourself. It is part of your process. In the Western world people are so private. They are afraid to look, to deeply look, at one another. Not so in the Indian world. We are not afraid to look. Allow yourself to be looked at, Kristin.”

I’m beginning to get used to it. To simply breathe into those stares. And often now I’ll smile at the men staring at me. At the handsome men. Skinny men. Old men. Fat men. Young men.

Wonderful men.


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The Waking Dreamtime

by Kristin Morrison on February 19, 2011

in Adventure,Contentment,India,Travel

Heart-shaped naan delivered to me as I write this blog post

Heart-shaped naan delivered to me as I write this blog post

The night before I left Cydney sagely said, “You are soon to be entering the waking dreamtime. Where the unconscious comes to light.”

There is a reason that it takes 2 days, 3 planes, 30 hours of flight to get here. To go from Marin County, California to Kovalam, India in an instant would be quite a shock to the psyche. Having all that flight time helps with the acclimation process, I think.

I feel so different this time, being here in India. I expected to feel the vast loneliness that I felt for much of my time in India last year but instead I am surprised and delighted to find a deep, deep rootedness in the very core of me.

I feel solid, sure of myself, strong.

Connected.

At peace.

Happy.

So very happy to have given myself the incredibly large gift of 4-5 months to just BE.

Even as I write this I feel my Spirit grinning from ear to ear.

Thank you, thank you, It says.

And even so there is a bit of restlessness in between Ayurvedic appointments and lunches/dinners with other travelers that I’ve met in the few days that I’ve been here.

Restlessness comes when I have pockets of unstructured time. I experience this restlessness most when I wake up in the middle of the night and all I can hear from my room is the pounding of the Arabian Sea. I’m learning to relax within the spaciousness of time and the not-doing.

View of mosque and sea from my room

View of mosque and sea from my room

What is most surprising to me so far is how deeply I’m falling in love with India. I felt chills when I got off the airplane and touched my feet on Indian soil and continue to feel the chills on a daily basis.

The people and the culture are making such a big impression on my heart. I didn’t feel this last time I was in India. At all. I wanted to leave India as soon as I’d arrived.

Not so this time. I’m soaking up India like a thirsty sponge. In some ways, I feel as though I’m re-experiencing my trip of last year, but with new eyes and a deeper sense of myself and of India.

It’s wonderful.

The hotel staff (all men) have taken me under their wings like a bunch of mother hens.

There is such affection, laughter and sweetness between us.

Because I have to walk by the hotel desk each time I leave my room I have now learned to plan at least an extra 10 minutes so I won’t be late to my Ayurvedic appointments.  Because it is not possible to just say goodbye.

No.

It’s the goodbye that goes on and on and on. 

“Where are you going? What you going to do now? With who you going?”

Each of the hotel staff are precious in their own way but my favorite is Allen (nice Indian name, eh?), the main front desk guy who only gets 3.5 hours of sleep a night. And still he manages to be kind and energetic. Every morning he writes down an affirmation, something he wants to work on for that day.

“I write it 10, 20, maybe 100 times so it goes deep into my brain,” he says.

Two days ago it was: ‘I won’t get angry, I won’t get angry’.

Yesterday it was: ‘I love everyone. I love everyone’.

Today?

“I haven’t written one down yet. I need to do that.”

I started the Ayvurvedic treatment the day I arrived. Yesterday was Day Four of my treatment and today I’m taking a break due to a big Indian festival happening in a nearby village that nearly all Indians (including my Ayurvedic practitioner) are attending.

The Ayurvedic treatment has been relaxing and grueling on my body all at the same time. Vigorous massage, drops of oil in my ears, nose and other places that shall remain nameless.

Last night at dinner at a glorious restaurant above the raging Arabian Sea (really, it was incredible) I talked with Chuck from Chicago who has had Ayurvedic treatment for years now. He says that after a week of treatment I’ll feel like I’m floating on a cloud. I have to admit, he looks radiant–all shiny skin and bright eyes–he’s on Day Twenty Seven of his Ayurvedic cleanse.

My dear friend Heiner will get to witness me floating on a cloud. Heiner arrives in four days–it will be good to see him again. His house is right behind my hotel.

Last time we saw each other we were in San Francisco, huddled in parkas. And the time before that in balmy Bali. Now we’ll meet again but this time in India. For some reason this brings such a smile to my face, this changing of places but not the person. It’s so fun.

Back to the Waking Dreamtime: it’s wild to go from America to this world: goats wandering on the beach, rickshaws, everyone saying hello to everyone, incredible food for 50 cents, saffron-colored dots on the forehead, the head nods that make it impossible to tell whether the nodder is saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

I get the sense that anything is possible here in Kovalam, India.

Being away from the Internet for a few days has been a dream too. I’m realizing now how addicted I was to my computer. I had Allen hold on to it and thankfully there is no Internet access at my hotel. I probably wouldn’t even be on today except that I did tell my managers I’d check in once a week and my week is almost here. Thankfully there were no emails from my managers.

…Which means all is going well in my absence. Yay!



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Countdown

by Kristin Morrison on February 4, 2011

in Adventure,Bali,Contentment,Creativity,India

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I’m leaving in 9 days.

But who’s counting?

🙂

Last night was my last workday for 5 months! I dropped off all my business items to my manager. I felt so expansive as I drove home from her house.

Today I took the day off from my to-do list. So now I’m sitting by the fire, watching movies and eating pizza.

It’s lovely to have a day OFF from my list. To allow myself to just relax after so many months of work projects and then trip prep.

The book I wrote arrived yesterday in printed form (up until now I’d only seen the eBook format).

I called one of my dearest friends, Barb, and asked if she could be with me while I opened up the box that contained my book. Instead of her coming to my house (because she is sick) we got on Skype and she watched me open the box that way.

I squealed when I saw and held my book. The culmination of all that hard work last year. Yay!

This morning I sat in bed with my book and spent a lot of the morning gazing lovingly at it. I feel like a momma hen with her baby. It is wonderful to see and feel the physical object that I put so much energy and so many hours into the past few months.

As far as my trip goes…

I’m feeling pretty excited about it. And have had a few occasional rememberings this week that all is not always rosy when one is traveling.

I have begun saying goodbye to my very comfy bed. My daily nighttime hot tub ritual. My dear friends.

Today though I am saying hello to relaxation!

Bye for now…

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Sibling Rivalry

by Kristin Morrison on January 21, 2011

in Family,Friendship

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Tonight I was talking with my brother and I heard my 5-year old niece in the background.

“Can I talk to River?” I ask my brother (knowing she might say no as she doesn’t like talking on the phone).

“River, do you want to talk to your aunt Kristin?” he asks.

I noticed myself holding my breath hoping she’ll say yes. I haven’t seen or talked to her in a while and I miss her.

“Okay,” she says in her cute voice.

“How are you doing, River?”

“Okay,” she says.

“What did you do at school today?”

“Ummm…I forgot.”

We talk about her dollhouse and how many rooms it has, we talk about her birthday coming up and the sleepover party she’ll have.

Then she says out of the blue in whispered confidence to me: “It’s hard being a big sister.”

I’m so touched that she’s opening up to me. She’s never done that before.

“What’s hard about it, River?” I ask.

“I don’t get as much attention as I used to,” she says.

My heart melts. I don’t want this little girl to experience any pain.

“I’m going to go in the other room,” she says to my brother.

My 5-year old niece is wanting privacy to talk about this with me.

There is silence as she walks down the hallway to her room.

“Okay, I’m in the other room now,” she says in a sad, small voice.

What do I say to her? I want to say just the right thing. I know she doesn’t like talking on the phone and that she probably only has a couple more phone minutes in her. This is the longest she’s ever talked on the phone with me.

“So you are wanting more attention from your mommy and daddy?” I ask.

“Uh-huh,” she says. “My new sister needs a lot of attention.”

“Do you know that you can ask your mommy and daddy for what you want? It doesn’t always mean they will give it to you but if you ask in a certain way you might get more attention.” I tell her.

“How do I ask?”

“Well, what do you say now when you want their attention?”

“I say, ‘Will you play with me please?'” she says.

I pause to think.

“Hmm…well, you might want to try saying, ‘I’m feeling sad. Will you play with me please?’  Saying something like that might help let them know why you are wanting them to play with you.”

Silence

“Do you want to try that? Ask me for attention in the new way?” I ask her.

“Okay,” she says.

“So go ahead, let me know you are wanting some of my attention,” I say.

Silence

then in a tiny voice:

“I’m feeling lonely. Can you play with me?”

“River, that was perfect. I think if you did that you might get some more attention. They won’t always be able to give it to you but if you ask that way, you’ll probably get more attention.”

“Okay,” she says.

“I know what you are going through River. I experienced it myself when I was growing up.”

“You did?”

“Yes, your dad is my brother and I was seven when he was born and I felt upset and sad that he got a lot of the attention from our parents.”

“He got all the attention?”

“Uh-huh. And I was so sad. Just like you tonight. But you know what?”

“What?”

“Now he’s my friend. And your sister…she can’t talk right now so she’s kind of boring but I tell you what–I can tell that your sister is going to be a really cool kid when she gets older. I can tell by the way she looks straight at us and smiles. She’s a baby now but she’s probably going to be a fun little girl and perhaps someday you’ll be friends with her.”

“Oh!” I can hear the smile in her voice.

Suddenly my brother’s voice is on the phone.“Hello sis?”

“I guess she’s done talking,” I say to my brother.

“Yep,” he says.




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